I Found A Part Of Myself

Hey guys!
I wonder if anybody still blog nowadays, even Xiaxue's last post was 2016.
Look at my previous post - June last year.
Influencers have moved on to Twitter & Instagram, with micro-blogging & short stories to narrate their lives.
I guess the reason why I still keep my blog is because I still wanna pen down my life events & thoughts, & it doesn't really matter to me if anybody is reading it anymore.

As we grow older, my friends & I don't really organise outings as often, i.e. picnics, cycling, etc.
The circle remains just us few, & we're all have responsibilities & work.
Even our usual drinking sessions are fewer & fewer, because of clash of schedules/broke af.
Feels like I drank more with my colleagues than my pals. O:
Some of us are studying, & then there's me who works odd hours (what is weekend? What is office hours?).

Nevertheless, I'm thankful we still have each other.

This post might come off as "full of myself" or "shameless" but I don't care what y'all think.
This is for me.
A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
After 24 years, I might have discovered a part of me.
I know what I am:

I am sexy.

I'm not the cool type, not a hypebae, not hipster, not sporty, not geeky, not girly, not conservative, not punk, not emo, not a fashionista, not anything else.

It dawned on me when I was on the way to work, on 29 Jan 2020.
Something just unlocked all of a sudden, I swear, & it floated in my mind the whole day.
As if I am meant to realise it at that point of time, but what a weird time though, but it took me 24 years to discover.

The definition of sexy: used to describe something that attracts a lot of interest and excitement

I do like attention; in fact I had friends & colleague telling me they know I like attention 😜
But many times I get stares just by walking down the street or not doing anything (okay this does sounds very shameless) but I'm just saying what I experience.
I guess my height plays a huge part?

In fact, when I was a teenager, I lack self confidence.
I don't tell many people this but I never like looking myself in the public mirror - I hated how I look.
I slouch, because I hated how tall I am, so I would slouch to make myself look shorter.
Of course, with countless people encouraging & lecturing me to 'stand straight chest out', it took me years to finally snap out of my pathetic shell & emerge as a beaming chick ready to blind everybody.

I have always been on a journey of self-upgrade - improving my art skills, my technical skills that I apply in my job, improving my skin, my vocabulary, my health, anything to reach a state where I'm satisfied.

Confidence is important. Confidence is sexy.

I wouldn't say I am very confident now because I still doubt myself sometimes, but for sure I am not myself as I was 5 or 10 years ago.
I am happy with the body I have now, & I never want to take it for granted.
Probably that's why I have always been leaning towards clothing that complements my figure, or skin-wrapping clothes that allow me to flaunt my bod.
Although there is a line between sexy and slutty, & we don't wanna go there.

Perhaps after reading up to this point you have much disgust for me hahahaha but I said what I said.
I just wanna put it out there for myself so when I read my blog in future, I know.
So, what are you?